day 5 update

the fantasy of living in new york has worn off and reality is setting in. right about now i’ve realized that moving to new york was probably a big mistake. and for a number of reasons.

1- the most logical of the bunch: i am currently unemployed living in one of the most expensive cities in the united states, with almost no money in savings. the little money i have is rapidly diminishing and i have yet to see any prospects of getting hired. anywhere.

2- i’ve realized that me being a california girl is not really cut out for this new york city lifestyle. it’s fun, but at the end of the day i don’t want to be a resident here, i want to be a visitor.

3 - the internet at my apartment is less than reliable. every few minutes it cuts out and i can’t understand why people get unreliable wifi. i don’t know if it’s the router or if it’s the actual connection or what it is, but i hate it. it makes me feel disconnected from my friends at home, doesn’t help me pass time when i’m bored, and overall just frustrates me.

4 - i’ve known this for a long time about myself, but i like to run away when i’m unhappy. the thing is, i wasn’t unhappy in san diego the past few months. in fact, i was incredibly happy. i’m not sure why i ran away from san diego, maybe just because i felt like i had to keep up with the fact that i’ve been saying, “i hate san diego.” for the past 4 years. maybe because i wanted to run away from some not so pleasant memories that i’ve had there. i was definitely running away from getting a drivers license/having to drive. which seems kind of silly now. but most recently, i had been loving it.

5 - i thought it would be much easier to find a job out here in music/entertainment, but who am i kidding? every city is going through hard times. every city is going through the recession. granted it would have been hard for me to find a job that was suitable to my career interests in san diego, but los angeles isn’t too far away. and moving home to san francisco would have been moving in with my parents, but now, financially, seems like a much smarter decision.

6 - i don’t really like living in queens. and perhaps that is because i haven’t explored it much, but this neighborhood just isn’t the kind of place i’d normally want to live at. there aren’t any coffee shops (even though i’ve searched), record stores, cute cafes, or anything i would normally spend time at!

7 - i’m sick and apparently it is due to the pollution in new york city.

yes, today i’m full of complaints and negativity. hopefully since tomorrow is monday - it will be the beginning of a new week with a more positive outlook.